


Broken Pieces

by Evax3



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Getting Back Together, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Introspection, Original Fanart - Freeform, POV Daenerys Targaryen, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:15:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29470053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evax3/pseuds/Evax3
Summary: She misses him, of course she does. But it’s hard to know how best to show it. Because how much pressure is too much? How much is too little? Still, she tries. With love and patience and the beliefs that some shattered things don't have to stay broken.A getting-back-together story, based on the beautiful ficShattered Hearts.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen
Comments: 17
Kudos: 53
Collections: Wintersend 2020 & 2021





	Broken Pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [majorbisexualdisaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/majorbisexualdisaster/gifts).



> This story is a gift and a thank you at the same time. 
> 
> Your prompt said ‘just Jon Snow’, so I decided to take a look at your own fics to see what you like, and thank god I did that. Because it brought me to this beautiful piece that my gift is based on !! :)
> 
> If it hadn't spoiled the surprise, I would have left you a novel of a comment right beneath your work, telling you how much I love your story (I've probably read it over 10 times now). Because it's so real, it's not afraid to show things as they are and on top of that it's incredibly beautifully written. It reads like a poem. So I tried my best to stay true to your style and hope I don't disappoint. 
> 
> It was a huge pleasure to create this for you. I’ll set up the appropriate inspiration tag as soon as the gifts are revealed, even if you may already know who I am! ❤️

It might sound sad and maybe it is just that, but the feeling of loss is something Dany's quite familiar with. Her first breath is connected to the biggest loss of all her life, closely followed by more, just as painful. Her father died a few days after her mother, her brother Rhaegar was right with him. Viserys then the year she turned thirteen. 

So she knows what it means, the loss of a loved one. But the  _ fear _ of losing someone, worrying about it, waiting, hoping, these are things she doesn't know how to handle.

It's a terrible feeling, almost chokes her, leaves her cold and breathless. Frozen on the spot as she stands there and looks at him, lying in his hospital bed, bruised and broken. It's even worse than a few hours earlier, when Robb called her and told her what had happened. 

Though the most scary thing is not his sight nor the circumstances that brought him here. The things that scare her most are her own troubled thoughts, coming up in her head while she's watching him sleep. 

Selfish, they are. There's no other word to describe them. 

_ What if she missed the chance to tell him how sorry she was? What if she’d never seen his smile again. Felt his touch? Heard his laughter? What if she’d lost him forever? What if this had been the end? _

Of course she knows this is not about her. But she can’t help herself. She is just as selfish now as she was back then when she’d left him. 

At that time she couldn't stand the pressure, the pressure he put on her. It was too much, not knowing that it was too much for Jon as well. That life itself was too much for him. 

_ How come she hasn’t seen that?  _

He had to end up here for Dany to understand. And still she does it again, being selfish, though for another reason. Because she can’t let him go. 

It has to be Jon this time, who tells her that this is too much. Tells her he needs space, that he has to take care of himself first. 

His words hurt more than she likes to admit. But still she tries, tries to be less selfish and gives him what he asks her for.

* * *

When he comes back to school he’s still limping a bit but he looks better than she’s ever seen him before. As their eyes lock in the hallway, he raises his hand. It's only a small wave, over as quickly as it came, but it makes her heart flutter. 

She returns it, smiles softly, but does nothing more. 

Because she wants to give him the space he needs, even if it tears her apart. And she’s scared again about doing something wrong. Unsure about what puts pressure on him. Unsure about how much is too much. Only a wrong word maybe? Or a touch? Or more?

Still when he looks at her, she always smiles. It’s important for her that he knows she’s there if he needs her. Without pressure. Which is it's not easy to tell without using words. But she tries, she really does.

Sometimes she feels brave enough and sends him a message, saying that she’s thinking about him. Sometimes he texts back. Sometimes he doesn't. 

In the middle of term, Missandei gets sick so the seat next to Dany remains empty through half the day. Later, they talk to each other again, when Jon takes her friend's chair and sits down beside her. As their legs touch beneath the table, electricity rushes through her without any way to prevent it. She knows she is staring at him. He doesn't seem to mind.

After school, they walk home together. He doesn't like driving anymore, he prefers walking now. She is grateful for it, selfish again, because it gives them more time. 

She asks how he’s doing and he says he’s doing better. When she tells him she’s missing him, he hesitates. It brings back the fear. Maybe she’s pushing too hard. 

_ Why does she do that?  _

Her lips tremble as it takes all her strength to hold his gaze. She knows this time she won't be strong enough, not able to hide how much his rejection hurts her. Even if she understands him, or at least tries to. 

Jon squeezes her hand and says he is sorry, that he still needs time. 

But that he misses her too. 

* * *

It's difficult for her, but in the end she lets  _ him  _ set the pace. He gets to decide how long their walks should be and how often they take them. It's new for her. Maybe it's new for him too. 

Though even if she wants to, she can't turn off the pressure completely. Now and then she reaches for his hand or sits with him in the cafeteria without asking him if it is okay. Sometimes she apologizes later. Sometimes she even does it more than once.

Till Jon tells her to stop that and that he's going to show her if she does something he doesn't like.  _ That she needs to stop acting like he's broken.  _ He does not say the latter, but his look tells her enough.

After that, Dany behaves more like herself again. 

She stops to handle him with kid gloves. She stops being so tense all the time. The fear becomes less when he doesn't call or text her back. She begins to trust him again. Starts to believe that she won't lose him again. That he comes back. 

Even if it takes a while.

* * *

They go to the prom together. Him and her and Robb, Missy and Grey, Sam and Grenn. He’s tense, she feels it. But he loosens up in the course of the night. At some point she even gets him to dance with her. 

And he looks so handsome in his tux. In his uncomfortable shoes and the tie he keeps fiddling with. He tried to slick his curls back, but the look doesn't last very long. She prefers it that way, a little tousled, so she doesn't have to feel bad about running her fingers through the strands. 

When she tells him he blushes. When she says he's really good looking, he tells her not to mess with him. 

Jon says it with a smirk and even if she does not repeat it, still, she can't stop smiling at him. Because it feels like they’re them again. With his hand in hers and their eyes locked. He’s beaming at her too and continues to do so when he takes her home sometimes later.

The air around them ripples with tension. It matches the butterflies buzzing in her stomach. 

He kisses her then, right there in the driveway where she kissed him the first time, though it can’t be more different. It's shy instead of feisty, no clashing teeth and no bumping noses. Her face is framed with his hands and his lips are ghosting over hers. It makes her realize that Jon doesn't know either, how much pressure is too much. 

As with the walks, it takes a while for them to get to know each other again. 

_ Is it alright for her to put her hands on his neck? Is it okay for him to rest his own on her back? _

When he pulls her closer, her whole body vibrates. When she caresses his tongue, her heart skips a beat. It really feels like magic with all these stars twinkle above them as they melt together. 

It’s the air they need for breathing that forces them to separate.

* * *

After graduation, she goes to college. She always wanted to be a lawyer and Jon is confident she will succeed. 

He, on the other hand, finds himself a job as a landscaper. He’s never gone back to the pizzeria and Dany thinks his new work suits him far better. Now he can be outside all day, which he quite seems to like. Even if his hands are constantly dirty and he comes home more often with a severe sunburn. He's smiling all the time and that is what counts. 

From all the physical work he gets more muscles. His skin gets tanned and he lets his beard grow, emphasizing his sharp features and his beautiful dark eyes. She stares at him when she thinks he's not looking. When he gets out of the shower, only a small towel wrapped around his waist, she feels the heat rising inside her, growing more and more the longer they wait.

She doesn't want to push him, knows she's being selfish again. But in the end she still does it.

Though having sex is not that easy. The meds he’s still taking fuck with his system. Dany feels how much he wants her, the desire in Jon's eyes is nothing she just imagines. But despite that, her confidence slips the longer they try and the longer it doesn't work out. 

They're both embarrassed. 

They never talk about it.

She starts with the kid gloves again without meaning to. Instead of nagging her about it, he gets out of her way and shuts her out. 

Dany begins to wonder if, in the end, being in love is just too big for them.

* * *

It takes a mug, his favorite, the red one with the green dots, to set things straight. Or more so, for her to break it. Only to break down herself a few seconds later.

When he comes back home, Jon finds her sobbing in her kitchen, sitting between all the shards. She’s given him a key. Actually, she’d thought that been too much too.

He sits down beside her and asks her what’s wrong. Blinking away her tears, everything spills out of her. 

She tried to be strong, for him, for herself, for them both. But she no longer knows what to do. She’s afraid that he’s getting more and more distant. She’s afraid that something like back then will happen again. She is afraid that she is too selfish for them to ever be happy.

Jon holds her wrapped in his arms and strokes her back till she calms down again. And he tells her that maybe for a while he can be the strong one and that it's okay for her to be afraid. She smiles at that and nods. It feels good for her, saying it out loud. 

She knows hearing it feels good for him too. 

* * *

After that he discontinues the meds and goes back to seeing his therapist. Talking about it helps him. At some point, he starts to talk with her as well. 

He tells her about the dark clouds over his head, about the fear that they will never completely go away. That they might get worse again. That he can't control it. 

Dany tries to help him by listening. It’s something that helps her just as much.

* * *

He moves in with her a few months later and they get a dog that Jon calls Ghost. He’s white and quiet and deserves his name, even if he’s hard to overlook. He sleeps at the end of they're bed and keeps them company on their long walks, which they still like to take.

Their life is not perfect, she knows, but it is damn close. 

Because even when they fight sometimes, or when the clouds come back, or when she's selfish again, or afraid, or both, they manage it, together. 

When Dany falls asleep at night and Jon's heartbeat is the last thing she hears, she's grateful for it, for all of it. That they got another chance to try and make it better.

Because some shattered hearts don't have to stay broken.

  
  
  
  


Fin.


End file.
